SPANISH film The Coffee Table is neither a horror nor black comedy, but it certainly contains some very dark and rather messed up elements of both.
The second film from director Caye Casas, La Mesita del Comedor (the dining room’s small table), as it was inoffensively known in his native tongue, will scar all you delicate little flowers out there. Truth be told, unless you are a hardened and totally black-hearted deviant, you will probably be severely traumatised for life.
Me? I loved every warped, cheerless, and harrowing moment of this depraved psychological portrait of a marriage on fire — I’m talking seventh circle of hell hot here!
New to Shudder, The Coffee Table is mostly played out in the apartment of Jesus (David Peruja) and Maria (Estefania De Los Santos), except for an opening scene in a furniture store, and a quick grocery store stop.
The embittered couple are trudging through the dust bowl of their marriage after becoming new and bewildered parents for the first time. Maria is overbearing and bossy, and long-suffering Jesus is adamant that after having absolutely no say on any other furnishings in their home, or even the naming of their newborn bundle of joy, that he is going to be allowed pick the coffee table for their living space at any cost.
The table itself is gaudy and has about as much class as a certain notorious fighting sportsman. But despite its ostentatious design, the salesman convinces them that this ugly fixture will not only save their union, but make them happy with it. On top of that, he claims the glass top table cannot be broken — a little white lie of Titanic proportions.
Once they get the garish piece home, life quickly takes a turn.
Visceral, messed up, and downright disturbing, this uncomfortable watch is definitely one for those with strong stomachs and a wickedly dark temperament.
Morning coffee will never be the same again.
(4/5)
