Q. My husband and I have been married for 12 years. Unfortunately, we did not have the sense to live together prior to getting married to see how we would get along as a couple. The first six years went reasonably well, but rows afterwards started erupting on a constant basis and for the last two years there has been very little communication between us at all. The rows mainly centered around the fact that I wanted children and he did not. Two years ago he moved out of the family home. I have now met someone else and I want to “draw a line in the sand” so to speak and get a divorce. He wants to just enter a legal separation. What is the difference? We have no children, of course.
Dear Reader,
Marriage breakdown is always very difficult and stressful. However, staying in a marriage where there are constant rows is possibly more stressful than going through the legal route of separation or divorce.
First of all, given that you have no children, the resolution of financial matters between you and your husband should be a lot more straightforward.
Under Irish law, you must be “living separate and apart” from your husband for a period of two out of the past three years before you initiate a divorce application. As your husband moved out some two years ago, you would qualify for a divorce.
The basic difference between a judicial separation and a divorce is that you are entitled to legally remarry in this jurisdiction once you obtain a divorce. You are not entitled to legally remarry once you obtain a legal separation, but all of the financial and property matters that have to be resolved can be dealt with just as effectively under the law governing legal separations.
In my view, if you qualify for a divorce, this is the better option for you as the matter is then dealt with once and for all and will bring finality to your circumstances.
While I appreciate that your husband does not want a divorce, it is open to you to initiate divorce proceedings as he does not have to consent. Obviously it would be easier if he consented to the divorce, but he fact that he wants a separation apposed to a divorce does not preclude you from making a divorce application to court.
Again, as stated above, the fact that you have no children will make the judge’s decision easier.
I would suggest that you talk to your solicitor as they will be in a position to advise you how to initiate proceedings.
