IN THE two years since Anthony Foley’s death, his widow Olive has said that the journey of recovery through counselling has helped heal the rugby legend’s family.
Speaking on Radio One last weekend, Olive said that every aspect of dealing with Anthony’s sudden death in Paris was difficult, including talking with their sons.
She told RTÉ presenter Marian Finucane that Anthony’s death was the most shocking thing imaginable.
Her first instinct was to shelter her children but, after speaking with child psychologist David Coleman, she was better able to help them deal with their father’s death.
“The following morning I needed some help, so I rang David and I said ‘David, just talk to me and tell me what I need to do here now’.
Based in the neighbouring village of Ogonnelloe, the psychologist advised her to bring the children with her to Paris to be with their father’s remains.
“Anthony was laid out at home for two days and I just think that it’s such a lovely thing now that we have done that.”
“The other thing is tell them everything. You have to be so honest with them because if you lose their trust, if you hide one thing from them, what they will come up with in their head if you haven’t told them the truth will be far worse. Far worse things will pop into their heads, so I was completely honest and open with them from the very start.
It lead to her being able to tell Tony and Dan that “Daddy died in his sleep.”
The Shannon stalwart may have been a legend on the rugby field but he was idolised most at home.
“He was very close to the children and they were his priority. We were number one. I’m afraid to say, rugby came a close second but he was a great family man.”
Tony and Dan also benefited from the help of Sister Helen Culhane, founder of Limerick’s Children Grief Centre, who helped initiate conversation within the family about Anthony’s life and death.
“The boys are great, thank God, but I desperately needed help. I just needed to know what to do with the kids, what is right and what is wrong and the kids needed support themselves.”
Reading from Anthony’s book “Axel – A memoir” was another way that Olive helped her two young boys understand the life of their heroic father.
“We always say that Anthony’s book is something that I’m very privileged to have. In the beginning we’d go to bed early at night and we’d say our prayers and then I’d read a few pages from Dad’s book. Their eyes would be wide open. They’d really enjoy this and then inevitably they’d have questions and they’d just love it,” she said.
