THE death of a parent can be a life-changing experience and while this is as true for adults as it is for young people, grown-ups are expected to be able to cope and take things in their stride.
But, according to Milford Care Centre’s Compassionate Communities project, the sense of loss can be just as traumatic for adults as it is for children.
Initiated in 2011, the project seeks to work in partnership with individuals, groups and communities, to enhance the social, emotional and practical support available to those living with a serious life-threatening illness as well as those facing bereavement.
Compassionate Communities maintain that most bereaved people welcome the chance to talk and are now planning to host a series of bereavement information evenings this year. The events which take place on August 26 and November 25 are designed to give general information on bereavement and the supports offered by Milford Care Centre.
Frank Murphy, who is responsible for pastoral care at Milford Care Centre, says they are helping people in the Mid-West to think a little differently about death; to encourage them to plan ahead; talk with others and offer practical support to those facing the end of life.
“A small change in our attitude toward death can make a big difference to how we live”, he explains.
He also revealed that losing his own mother to cancer in March 2010 had a huge impact on him and describes waking up in a world without her like “waking up in a world in constant darkness”.
“Nothing about the past losses I have experienced, and there have been many, prepared me for the loss of my mother. Even knowing that she would die did not prepare me in the least.
“Of all the people we come to love in this life, perhaps the first and most important is our love for our mother. As I grew older, I came to understand that although both my mother and father were responsible for the person that is me, my mother had a very special function. She brought me into the world, and then put up with me for the rest of her life.
“The time of grief and mourning can be an uncertain time, both in terms of its length and also in knowing how I or others will react. But I have learned that the poet, Robert Frost was right when he said, ‘In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on’,” he concluded.
